


Memories

by rolledupshirtsleeves



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: Dylvid, M/M, Old references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 01:41:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12495624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rolledupshirtsleeves/pseuds/rolledupshirtsleeves
Summary: 'Imagine the Lily/Iain staffroom kiss in S32 E5 but with Dylvid''But up against the wall or lockers because David has too much emotion for a casual kiss, no it has to be Intense'(credit to @insomniacstudy for the idea)





	Memories

"I love you, Dylan"

The doctor froze, one hand on his locker, his wallet falling out of the other. He slowly turned around, eyes on David, the intense blue seeming to stare straight into his soul. Hesitant...yet curious? David leaned forward, cupping Dylan's face with his hands, their lips brushing against each other. Softly, slowly, and then all at once. David brought them closer together, running his hands through his hair, leaning in to the kiss-

Something snapped. Dylan pulled away, backing against the lockers. David's hands lingered by the other man's shoulders, too shocked to move. Had he made a mistake? A rush of thoughts invaded his mind, each one second guessing the previous. Replaying every interaction, every moment, the way he had looked at him, his eyes, his voice, his hands. The secrets they shared...and the ones they did not. Months spent shadowing him, waiting for the right moment, fearing the worst yet never giving up. "I'm not even gay!" The statement had almost broken him, his chances seemingly ruined. And yet, there was the mysterious, young, curly-haired nurse he had only heard stories about. One of the few good things to have come out of Robyn and Max's gossiping. The fond way he looked at that fridge magnet on his locker when he thought no-one was watching. A ghost of a smile on his face as he'd rush past the sign for the Kellar Ward. A firm dislike turning into a strong bond, Christmas spent together - David had almost cried at the possibility of spending another year alone. And yet, refusal of drinks offers, avoidance despite being so close. Denial, he coudn't even admit it to himself - though David didn't need Robyn to realise that. Or possibly...after everything they'd been through together...He cursed himself for even hoping. The day's new arrival meant his chances were even slimmer than before. The hug shared - had Dylan ever hugged him? No, he had done so much more, he could hardly fault him for that. Every act of kindness, was that all? Or...the idea refused to be shaken from his mind...maybe, just maybe something more? 

Dylan's alarm bells were screaming, memories of last New Years Eve clouding his vision. The last time he'd been kissed. Well, almost kissed. The stress, the patient's death. That feeling like he'd failed. The way Sebastian looked at him, like he'd been physically hurt. Fireworks exploded in his head, sparks covering his vision. His feelings towards the young doctor, the way he saw himself in him. His suffering, too close to his own. Moments, days, weeks, all blurring into one. Time, the order of events was irrelevant. It was only the searing pain that stayed with him. Furniture upturned, smashing through layers of closed doors he thought he'd never have to open. Rewind, replay, zoom in. His scent, a mix between his aftershave and booze, overpowering the room. A downwards spiral of heartbreak - his own fault. He could see it in Sebastian's eyes, almost hear the accusation: 'Cold hearted, no emotion, how could I have thought you really cared?'. Their argument, the rest of the staff choking him with their eyes. All fixed on him. Watching his each action, listening to each word. Regret lay in every line, every insult, none of which were fair or true or him. His father's face appeared, sneering at him, before morphing into his own wearing the same cruel expression. "I'm not gay." the declaration contained all the certainty he didn't have. He couldn't be, could he? Sam's signature smile, tightening his chest, speaking straight to his heart, yet without the usual tinge of longing. Only regret remained, wishing he'd done more, said yes, replied as opposed to ignoring everything that frightened him. Who was he really pining for then? He pulled at the tangled strands of his emotions, only tightening the knot in his throat as more memories resurfaced. It was always the smiles he fell for... the small, sweet things that he would never have thought would mean so much. A kiss on the cheek, concerned persistence, a crushing hug, apparently even a fridge magnet. But he'd already had the chance to rekindle what once was. Settle differences, come to agreements, reignite the fire burning holes in heart. And yet, after brushing past his ex-wife, ignoring messages, and avoiding the wards upstairs, he was standing here.

He stopped and looked up at David, staring down at him with the most heartbreaking look of fear. Everything else faded, mere background colours to the deep brown eyes piercing right through him. He tried to look away, only to be drawn in closer. Heart rate quickened, pupils dilated, blood rushing to his head. A textbook analysis. Yet this, this was different. Not burdened with past mistakes, but the start of something new. He couldn't let the past get in the way of what they might have now. So they'd had their disagreements, their arguments and rough patches, but David was something he was willing to fight for. He meant well, he tried to fix things, he cared. Eventually breaking eye contact, Dylan blinked, letting that warm fuzzy feeling wash over him again. 

"Sorry, bad memory..." Smiling shakily, he pulled David by his shirt collar, sandwiching himself between his body and the lockers, leaning, melting into the kiss. 

"Um...Dylan. Resuss told me to let you know they need you."

He knew that voice, he could recognise it anywhere. Of all the people who could have- well at least they were even now. If that was supposed to be any consolation. He pushed the thought from his mind - today had already brought back enough memories. His old 'mate' kissing his ex-wife didn't need to join them. Eyes still firmly shut, he could feel David move away, sense Sam lingering at the door. He instinctively frowned. The world stopped spinning, time slowed back to normal, each dragging second marked by the ticking of the staffroom clock. There was an awkward silence. 

"Ah, um, Sam," he could almost hear David's thoughts through his voice, immediately making the connection, labelling her, 'Dylan's ex-wife', "Uh...I'm David..."

He slowly opened his eyes just in time to catch a hint of a smirk on Sam's face. 

"Nice to meet you David." Her expression was practically indecipherable. As usual. Shock? Smugness? Possibly even annoyance? But she immediately interrupted his thoughts, "Resuss, Dylan?"

His face reddened as he attempted to compose himself, muttering incoherently. Not now, not today. Ignore her, there are much bigger problems to worry about. Too much had happened with not enough time to stop and just think. Process everything. Breathe. He marched out of the room, David hurriedly following behind. Today had definitely been full of surprises.


End file.
